(Note: the disrespectful term "Birthmother" is used on this page ONLY for search engine placement.
No mother is a "birth object" - she is the mother of her child.)
In the historical fiction book "The Sacrifice" by Diane Matcheck, a 15-year-old Apsaalooka (Crow) Indian girl
wanders into a "trap" set by another tribe. The story is set in the 18th century. According to the notes at the end of the
book, "At the time of the story, the Skidi, or "Wolf" band of Pawnee had been performing the Morning Star sacrifice for so
many years that no one knows when it began, and the details of why it was performed are no longer clear."
Her father's death has left her an orphan and the girl is an outcast among her people. She leaves her tribe
and travels, overcoming many challenges and then wanders into the domain of the Wolf and lives among them. Although unaware
of it, she is being "counseled" and groomed for the sacrifice. In a conversation with the boy who is her "counselor" the girl
makes some interesting observations. The boy, Wolfstar, tells her "Our lives are not really our own." and also "We must follow
the path given to us." He believes he must follow many dictates of his culture - that he cannot travel or marry outside his
culture. He says, "...if I refuse to do what is asked of me, my people will perish." The girl is stunned by this.
When harvest-time comes, the people prepare for the sacrifice. The girl has learned the language quickly,
which works in her favor. She overhears a conversation she is not supposed to hear. Wolfstar's father tells him "The girl
must be at the ceremony tonight...The Morning Star must have the blood of that girl's heart, no matter what feelings you have
for her." The boy she had trusted and thought of as her friend says "I have only done what you taught me: be kind to her,
keep her happy and ignorant of her fate so that she may be led through the ceremony willingly when the time comes."
Later, during the ceremony the girl - still partly under the "spell" - submits to being "prepared" and to
having her hands tied by the priest. She becomes panicky, as everyone begins to chant as part of the ritual. The suddenly
it dawns on her that no one has touched her body directly. Guessing they must be forbidden to touch her, she decides to try
it - she gets up and simply walks away. They cannot touch her. She has no horse, no weapon to help her survive. Her hands
are still bound. But, she is alive and she manages to overcome the remaining obstacles.
This story of ritual sacrifice of a virgin closely matches a ritual sacrifice practiced in the United States and in some other countries - that is the ritual sacrifice of a family that is not of the "family-unit" type. In a culture where people believes it is inevitable, a pregnant
mother is lured into the trap. She is "counseled" and groomed for the sacrifice. She is called a "birthmother" (sacrificial "offering" ) well in advance. The people she trusts believe they must go through with it or their "people", their culture,
will perish. If they do not sacrifice this mother-and-child, there will be more instances of family that are not "family-units" - there may be grandparents
helping to raise their grandchildren, there may be single fathers taking responsibility for their children. The mother who
does not comprehend the real truth behind the biased "adoption language" - and who does not have the opportunity to overhear the true motives of the "adoption counselor" - may not extricate herself from the situation in time. The "birthmothers sacrifice" will please the gods and the people will profit from a great harvest - the harvest of a human baby for adoption.
But what about the sacrificial offering - the so-called "birthmother" (and adopted person)? The mental health impacts of adoption are serious. The psychological impacts of adoption are horrifying and also fascinating. "It" is still alive, although "it" may have become numb
just to cope with the loss. Many such "sacrificial offerings" later describe themselves as "sleepwalking" for years, with no one even to talk to. Upon awakening to reality
the mothers may go through a traumatized re-living of events and/or obsessive thinking about their child.
Some "birthmothers" ("sacrificial offerings") are so thoroughly traumatized by the shameful treatment they received, by the loss of their child and by the complete lack of recognition of that loss, that they are
completely unable to face it or mention it to anyone.
But some moms do come "out of the closet" and eventually a few even regain a little sense of humor about their family dismemberment.
....Perhaps some day they'll put together a country or rock band called the Wrong Tummy Momsters with songs like "Bitter Momma", "Living in Hell", and "Don't Mess With My Baby". They'll start out concerts with jokes about adoption lawyers at the bottom of the ocean and social workers begging St. Peter to be let into heaven. The last song of the night will be a rousing rendition of "Don't ^%ck
With Me, Infertile B*tch!" And perhaps they will publish a newsletter called the "Stolen Children, Angry Mammas News".
(Note: If you are experiencing an unexpected "Unplanned Pregnancy", check out the Mother's Song website for unplanned pregnancy help and ideas on how to keep your baby.)