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Open Adoption "Birthmom" Facts and Myths

Open Adoption

Open Adoption

Are you pregnant and considering adoption?  Read this page first! 
Open adoption is a phenomenon that is quickly spreading across the United States and is making millions for those whose business is finding babies for their REAL clients, the people hoping to adopt.  
Learn about open adoption first-hand from mothers who surrendered  their precious babies:
Open Adoption - The Wall
Before you do something you might regret, click on  help for pregnant teens and women with unplanned pregnancies to learn how you can keep and nurture your own child. 


What is Open Adoption?

What is open adoption? Adoption may be viewed as a punishment for single women who give birth. In the "old" system of closed adoption, the mother of the baby was not permitted to select adopters and in some cases was not even permitted to see or know the sex of her own baby.
Open adoption is supposedly more humane, although the net effect is that the mother still loses the opportunity to raise her own child and there is no guarantee she will ever see him again.
The term "open adoption" may mean that the mother was permitted to select prospective adopters from a listing of advertisements or she may get to meet with prospective adopters. The adoption agency, lawyer or prospective adopters may make promises to the mother of pictures or letters, phone contact or even visitation with her child. In most states the open adoption agreement is not binding. Even in those states where the open adoption agreement is binding, the adopters may move to another state to muddy the legal waters and cut off contact.
Sometimes adoption agencies and adoption attorneys get parents to sign an open adoption "agreement" prior to the birth of their baby.  For the mother, this agreement is not the same as the relinquishment (surrender) of parental rights - ALTHOUGH THEY MAY TRY TO USE IT LATER AS "PROOF" THE MOTHER IS "UNFIT". A few states in the United States do have a "pre-birth relinquishment" law.  It is the relinquishment that turns a child into a legal orphan available for adoption. Unless a mother has signed a relinquishment of her parental rights as prescribed by law, she is legally the mother of her child. (Even after she signs, her newborn baby will still know her as his mother and look for her for comfort and security - a fact which cannot be changed although it is convenient for adoption promoters to ignore it.)
Adoption - and open adoption - is promoted by the federal and state governments. The motives and methods used to promote adoption are described below.

Why is Adoption - and Open Adoption - Promoted?

Adoption - and open adoption - is promoted by the federal and state governments.  The motives and methods used to promote adoption are described below.
The motives for promoting adoption are many. One is the simple fact that adoption is a business and without babies for adoption and customers for babies, the adoption business would fold up.  There would be no money obtained for adoption "services" and no donations for the "charitable" work of finding babies for people.
Other motives for adoption are cultural.  Those in power seek to build up cultures that will further their agenda.  This is social engineering.
Some want to maintain a society in which there are not families of related persons but instead there are only "family units" comprised of married people and children who may or may not be related to them.   These people seek to destroy any family that does not fit this mold - a single parent or a grandmother caring for her grandchild is not acceptable to them.   Adoption is a "solution" that meets their objectives.
Some religious people use adoption as a way of gaining converts - increasing their numbers and increasing their influence.
Gays and lesbians also see adoption as a way to further their agenda, an opportunity to raise children as "gay-friendly". 
Open adoption or closed adoption - both meet meet the objectives of the persons promoting adoption.

Open Adoption vs. Closed Adoption

What Methods are Used to Promote Adoption?

What are the methods used to promote adoption?
Some of the more obvious methods are covert ones: the $10M annual federal grant for Infant Adoption Awareness Training which targets naive, vulnerable mothers by removing their support systems. There are also states which have "Choose Life" license plates with the proceeds going toward getting babies for adoption but never to help mothers who "choose life" and want to keep their babies.
In addition to the overt methods of getting more babies, the govenment allows solicitation for babies. It may be illegal to solicit a living person for their kidney, but people solicit to get a living person's son or daughter all the time. Promises of open adoption are especially effective as a means to lure mothers in to surrender their infant sons and daughters.
When adoption laws change, they seem to change in favor of separating real families and getting more babies. In Kansas, a reliquishment may be obtained just 12 hours following birth with no revocation period. In Colorado there is a pre-birth relinquishment.

Adoption Counselors Training

The following quote shows how moms are coerced to hand over their own sons and daughters for use in adoption:
"Counselors must be trained to give women sound reasons that will counter the desire to keep their babies. One example is to reinforce the notion that it takes a strong, mature woman to place a child for adoption. Honestly addressing the issue of financial survival can be compelling as well. Counselors must communicate that adoption can be an heroic, responsible choice and that the child benefits tremendously ..." - From The Missing Piece: Adoption Counseling In Pregnancy Resource Centers by Curtis J. Young. Family Research Council (2000).

Single "Unwed" or Teenage Mother Myths and Facts

Are single mothers or teenage mothers so bad?  Get the facts about the consequences of unplanned pregnancy.  Read "birthmother stories" and information about 'birthmoms" in open adoption.  

Open Adoption - Father's Rights

Just imagine having an open adoption and holding your infant son in your arms on a supervised visit.  Imagine looking into his big trusting eyes - and not being allowed to say to him "Hello, son.  I'm your Dad." 
A father who wants to take responsibility for his own child may have to fight for his rights - especially if the baby's pregnant mother is being lured into open adoption. It helps to be very prepared and take steps to preserve your fatherhood well in advance of birth - even if you aren't sure you are the father, you can still protect your rights in advance and prevent your child from being adopted.   Be sure to read the following article on father's rights:

Dear Birthmom

Biased Positive Adoption Language tears families apart. Read the following press release to learn how:

Positive Adoption Language

The status of women in a society may be partially determined by the number of women who have their babies adopted-out.

Mothers for Open Records Everywhere. Sign petition. Mothers (NOT 'birthmothers') for Open Records for Adoptees, No "birthparent" confidentiality or privacy promised or desired.