The best "Dear Birthmother" letter will state the opposite of what you really feel. You know you can never respect a person who just "gives up" her own offspring. So, the first line of your "Dear Birthmother" letter should say:

"Dear Birthmother,

We respect your decision."

It SOUNDS like you respect her and she will think that's what you mean. Alternatively, you could include the baby's father - male birth object - by writing to "Dear Birthparent". (If you include the father by addressing your letter to "Dear Birthparent", then when you have his son in your arms, he won't feel left out.)

Next, compliment her like you are honoring a Goddess: "You are a hero for displaying so much love for your baby." (It's OK to say "your baby" at this point - let social workers refer to "it" as "the baby" as if "it" was not her child.

Be sure to refer to yourselves as "parents" even though you have never reproduced or even changed a diaper - remember your "rights" trump the rights of people who are still able to reproduce.

Need additional assistance writing a "Dear Birthmother" letter?

If you need some help writing a "Dear Birthmother" letter or getting it listed on the internet, there is plenty of help out there.  It's sweet of them to help, isn't it? Just think of all the money people make off adoption - getting human infants for people to adopt as pets.