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Legal Adoption
Adoption Support Groups
Adoption Support Groups in Iowa
Oppression of the Naive and Less Affluent
Choose Life - Support Motherhood
"Birthmother" Adoption Issues
Saturday, 23 April 2005
Birthmother Stories
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Rose Garden
Topic: Legal Adoption
Personal adoption stories are just that - personal - so it?s surprising anyone tells their story at all. Just hearing the word ?birthmother? or seeing the word ?birthmother? is enough to upset many moms. Is a mother really just a "birthmother-object" meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption? No, a mother is the mother of her own child.

Still there are a few so-called ?birth moms? who have been willing to share their stories, accounts of how their infant sons and daughters were obtained for adoption by strangers. Then later the grown "babies" found their moms and in a few cases - repatriated into their natural families with their true heritage and ancestors.

There are lots of adoption stories written by adopters?adopters like to show off their ?generosity? in taking in a ?homeless orphan?. Unfortunately, most of these ?orphans? had families that loved them. But whenever there is a market for babies, there will be adoption agencies and adoption attorneys ?stepping up to the plate?, finding ways to get babies away from their own mothers. Getting babies adopted. Creating even more of those tragic adoption ?birthmother? stories.

Adoptee stories are often tragic as well. It seems the happiest adoption stories are told by adopters, soon after adoption - before reality sets in. Although we?d all like to think adoption is a perfect solution to everyone?s situation ?everyone benefits from adoption? the fact is that not everyone benefits from adoption. The adoption businesses may benefit from adoption - the businesses with the websites that have hokey, made-up, contrived ?birthmom stories? - where the mom says she?s 18 but writes like someone with a career in advertising. The adoption businesses benefit financially from adoption - or rather from selling babies.

Then you hear that silly ?adoption vs. abortion? argument - as if a newborn baby were about to be slain by his mother and must be adopted - quickly - to prevent a murder. Hello, people - that baby you are adopting is already born - you have not saved her from anything - you have just taken advantage of a vulnerable mom and denied this little baby the love of her own family.

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 7:23 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 23 April 2005 7:26 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 20 April 2005
Adoption - Ethical, Legal?
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: I'm here for you
Topic: Legal Adoption
If you have been paying attention, then you know there are hundreds of thousands of websites on adoption. Many of these websites provide Adoption Support for People Separated By Adoption. Or help people find lost family members.

At the same time there are websites "selling" adoption and the services required to separate families in order to get babies for people - for a "small" fee.

Some of these websites assure prospective buyers that the services are "legal". Few adoption websites mention adoption ethics or question whether moms - dads, grandparents, or siblings - might suffer after their children are adopted-out. For that matter, "adoption professionals" may not mention how a child - or even an infant - might suffer when separated from her own mother and family.

Adoption - known consequences of separating mother and baby.

It is as if orphanhood was something to aspire to - and those of us who are not orphans are missing out on something. Because adoption is promoted and orphans are being created so that people may adopt a healthy infant.

Whether adoption is "legal" or not, the chance of suffering is great. For an orphan, adoption might be desirable - if a child is badly abused, adoption might be desirable. But almost no child that is adopted was truly an orphan. If the child's mother and father are not proven to be unfit then they have a constitutional right to raise their child.

Just becasue something - like adoption - is advertised as being legal does not mean you must do it. If it were legal to beat your wife, would you do it? In some cultures, beating your wife might be considered to be "in her best interest".

Think about it - there is more to adoption than the question of whether things are legal or not.

Someone is profitting off the baby trade - the adoption industryprofitting off the baby trade - the adoption industry.

If you are pregnant - or your girlfriend is pregnant, there is help to keep and nurture your baby.

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 8:38 PM EDT
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Monday, 4 April 2005
New Infertility Cures
Now Playing: Green Eggs

God used to bless people with children. No one thought any thing about it.

But now, infertility is rampant. People are infertile due to STDs, drug use, alcohol, overweight or simply because they put wealth and their own interests first and waited too long to start a family. Gays and singles also hope to adopt or otherwise find a way to create a baby artificially. The adoption business is booming.

"Open Adoption" is offered as an incentive to lure in mothers who would otherwise have the joy of raising their own children. Those women still able to reproduce are known as "birthmothers" (aka "birth things" and have been demoted to the status of a placenta.

Pregnancy in United States may be referred to as "crisis pregnancy" in an effort to get more American babies for adoption.

Real information about the consequences of unplanned pregnancy, adoption and parenting ideas are hard to come by. Myths about unwed single mothers are rampant.

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 12:10 PM EDT
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Thursday, 31 March 2005
Birthmother's Day - Bleeeagh!
Now Playing: Celebrating Sadness
Just thinking about the upcoming Mother's Day - the day we all honor our Mothers. Then while surfing the web I ran into something called "Birthmother's Day". Well, I hate to say this but Moms even if your child has been adopted-out YOU ALREADY HAVE A DAY. You ARE a Mother. You are no less than a Mother. You deserve to be honored AS A MOTHER.

Those who believe a Mother is LESS than a Mother deserve to be kicked in the ASS with force that will send them into outerspace in nanoseconds.

Those Mothers who believe they are only "birthmothers" (aka "birth things" or incubators) are WRONG. You can be an ex-wife, or a widow but you can never be an ex-mother.

If Pro-Life people call you a "Birthmother" (an ex-mother-birth-thing) then SHAME on them. They patted themselves on the back when your child was adopted, claiming THEY had saved your unborn child from an abortion. But they could have provided you a little help to raise your child. They could have helped, instead of taking advantage of you at a vulnerable moment.

"Birthmother's Day" honors women as incubators, a source of babies for adoption. Now we have people suggesting that ANIMALS be used as incubators to get babies for infertile people to use. Well, what's the difference? Moms who have their babies taken for adoption are being treated like they are less than human. According to people like Thomas Atwood of National Council For Adoption (NCFA) Moms are glad to be "rid of" their "unwanted" children.

Thomas Atwood, if you are ever facing a temporary financial situation, should we suggest that you "do the right thing" and hand your children over to someone who has "a lot of love to give"? If they are not really your children, maybe you would be OK with that. But making a mom hand over her own child is extremely cruel.

But then, the Mom has "Birthmother's Day" to make up for the horrendous loss of her child. It's enough to bring a tear to my eye!

On this so-called "Birthmother's Day" I hope those persons who have promoted government programs designed to get more babies for people to adopt stop and reflect on the horror of it: USING women and then giving them a separate Mother's Day to emphasize your distain for them.

Birthmother's Day celebrations, Birthmother's Day poetry, Birthmother's Day parties, Birthmother's Day seems like Mom can have ANYTHNG she wants except for the joy of raising her own child.

In Rebuttal of the idea that Birthmother's Day honors mothers by Josee Larose

Another article opposed to Birthmother's Day by Bryony Lake

It's a tragedy whan a mother does not recieve the help she needs to keep family members together. This is nothing to celebrate. A Mother should not be honored as a "birth thing" - a MEMORIAL DAY to reflect on the tragedy of all the family separations to get babies for adoption would be more fitting.

"Birthmothers" - PLEASE recognize that you are Mothers by Nature and always will be. Honor yourselves as Mothers. Call yourselves "Mothers" not "Birthmothers" (aka "Birth things") - and insist that everyone else calls you a Mother or Natural Mother, too.

Just because your child's father - and society - has abandoned you does not make you less of a Mom.

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 7:09 PM EST
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Wednesday, 30 March 2005
Gays and the Right to Adopt
Here's a hard look at gay adoption - and "Christian" adoption, too.

In general I have nothing against gays. Gay people have many things to deal with in their lives and they are to be commended for helping people understand that they did not "choose" their sexual preference.

Still, gay people do have an agenda and they are looking for equal rights - not only as legally recognized partners, but also the right to adopt.

What's really ironic is that the "Christians" who claim adoption is FOR THE CHILD immediately say that gays are trying to further their agenda by raising children and thus "converting" these children to be "gay-friendly". Well, lets face it, adoption rarely is FOR THE CHILD. Adoption is about social engineering. Making society "look right" by "converting" the children of single parents to become the children of married people. "Converting" non-Christian Asian babies into "Christians".

Open Adoption Truth, Legal and Emotional Risks, "Birthmoms" Experience

Celebrating Birthmoms, Birthmother's Day Celebrations

Unplanned Pregnancy Adoption vs. Parenting Options, Consequences

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 2:01 PM EST
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Wednesday, 23 March 2005
Teen Pregnancy, Single Moms - Whose Side is God on?
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Stop Messin' With My Baby

Many teenagers are considered perfectly capable babysitters - so why assume they cannot love and care for their own child? Many people raise a child while they complete their schooling. In fact 97% of single moms (and dads) today keep their children.

People who want to get babies for adopters always rationalize that a young, fertile woman can simply have more children later. But no other child can replace the lost child in a mother's heart. And a surprisingly large number of women who had their babies adopted-out were unable to have more children - estimates range from 28% to 60%. Some are too traumatized - a pregnancy would remind them of the loss of their firstborn - and others have unexplained secondary infertility. Whether the estimates are correct or not, this is still something to keep in mind, especially if it is YOU or your daughter that is considering surrendering a baby.

It's ironic that so many "Christians" insist that single or teenage moms must give their babies up for adoption. Mary agreed to a pregnancy when she was young and single. Joseph stood by her but even if he had deserted her, would that mean Mary was no longer Jesus' mother, but just a "birth thing" meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption?

A social worker would probably say the envornment in the stable was unsanitary, that Mary and Joseph were "cohabitating" and did not even plan well enough to start out early in the morning so they could get to Bethlehem in time to get a hotel room.

Today people would say Mary "made poor choices" and they might take her baby and give him to some older wealthy married people - or even to gay people or some aging single person.

The people promoting adoption have an agenda - either to change the culture so there are fewer families with single parents - or to profit from adoption - or both. Even when a pregnancy is unplanned, the baby when born is nearly always very much loved and wanted by his mother and other relatives - including the baby's father in many instances. Yet they claim they have saved that already born baby from an abortion by takeing her for adoption.

You CAN'T abort a baby that is already born. The options at that point are to keep and nurture the child in her own home or to legally abandon her so that someone else can adopt.

Adoption agencies and lawyers are making a lot of money selling the "services" required to get a baby away from her naive, vulnerable mother so their real customers can adopt. Many of them get lots of donations for this "charitable" work as well. Why not get donations to help family members stay together?

God has created the entire world and everything in it. God is all-knowing and all-powerful. When God blesses single parents with a child, there is no reason to assume God made a mistake in His choice of parents.

Open Adoption Truth and Fiction, Open Adoption "Birthmoms" Experience

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 9:56 AM EST
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Sunday, 20 March 2005
Baby Safe Haven not so "Safe" for Baby or Mom
Families Need Protection From Baby Safe Haven

With only one option provided, no questions asked and no help provided, frightened young moms are giving birth on their own and then doing the best they know how for their newborn sons and daughters by abandoning them at fire stations, churches, hospitals. Billed as a protection for both mothers and babies, in fact not only mothers and babies but also fathers need protection from this law.

Marion, IA (PRWEB) May 13, 2004 -- According to the advertisements for the Indiana baby safe haven "Drop-Off Program": "The law gives newborns protection and frightened mothers an option...If you don't want your baby or if you know someone who doesn't, Indiana law allows you to drop-off the newborn at any fire station or other emergency medical provider, with no questions asked."

In the advertisement is a picture of a healthy, normal looking mom with white features. In her arms, she's holding an even whiter-looking baby: Just the kind of baby that is most in demand for adoption.

National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC) data show that 43 states in the United States have enacted baby safe haven legislation.

Prior to the enactment of these laws, it was primarily mothers on drugs or with mental problems (including extreme fear of discovery) who abandoned babies. These mothers probably would not be too concerned about looking for a safe haven to leave their child, regardless how much advertising there is. If the ads do target drug-addicted mothers, then why is it that nowhere in the ads is there information for pregnant moms to obtain drug rehabilitation which might prevent brain damage to their unborn child and thereby avoid future social problems?

As the advertisements for baby safe havens state, they give frightened moms one option: To abandon their child.

There's no rape counseling mentioned. There is no offer of family counseling mentioned that might relieve tension between a frightened young pregnant mom and her parents, and no mention that telling parents just might result in unexpected support that would help her keep her baby.

There's nothing in the ads for safe havens encouraging fathers to take responsibility for their children and no protection of fathers' parental rights.

There's nothing about birth control, which might prevent a pregnancy.

There's no suicide prevention hotline for a mother after she's lost her child to government sanctioned abandonment, either.

There is nothing that would direct a mother to Women, Infants and Children (WIC) to obtain assistance that would help a mother maintain her own and her unborn child's health. There's nothing about Medicaid for pregnant women or insurance for children.

While the people who adopt are being provided financial help from the government until the adopted child is 18, moms are made to feel guilty for considering even some temporary assistance which would help them care for their own child.

Information which might help a mother make an informed decision, such as the serious effects of separating a mother and child, is not disclosed in these ads for safe havens. In "Known Consequences of Separating Mother and Child at Birth and Implications for Further Study", which is available on the internet, Wendy Jacobs, B.Sc., B.A. provides an overview of the effects which have been reported since the 1950's. She notes: "...the ripple effect of adoption means it is an issue that affects thousands of families throughout their lifetimes, the lifetimes of succeeding generations, and ultimately our whole society and its future."

With safe haven laws in effect, lots of newborn babies are now being abandoned, both "safely" and unsafely.

Is it a coincidence that baby safe haven laws are being enacted at a time when more parents who know their daughters are pregnant are willing to support their daughters in keeping their babies? At a time when more and more adoptions are "open", providing some contact between the child and his/her natural parents? Some people seeking to adopt write about how they want a child with no "birthparents" that will come looking for them "ten years down the road"? In their quest for a child to call their "own" and not share, prospective adopters may not consider how the adoptee will feel knowing he/she has been abandoned and having no information. These prospective adopters may be interested to know that DNA testing is now being used to successfully reunite adoptees and natural parents, even in international adoptions.

Regarding these frightened young mothers who leave their newborn son or daughter at a safe haven, I can only imagine what heartache and anguish they must be going through and no one to share it with, possibly for the rest of their life.

I have heard people speculate that these mothers would have killed their children if not for the "opportunity" to drop them off. After encouraging a frightened mother in the first place, they accuse her of being a potential murderer. But, isn't it just as easy to speculate that if she had not seen all this advertising encouraging baby abandonment at a "safe haven" she would have told someone and had medical and moral support while giving birth and afterwards? She might be holding her baby in her arms today, proudly showing her off to everyone.

Being abandoned by his mother (and father?) is not so "safe" for a child. The serious effects of familial separation and maternal deprivation on a child are known, but are not well-publicized. Adoptee Betty Jean Lifton's book "Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness" should be required reading for everyone in North America.

Feelings of loss, grief, rejection and shame as well as identity issues, intimacy problems and problems with the evolution of self-control are all identified as life-long issues for adoptees, natural parents and even for the people who adopt in Deborah N. Silverstein and Sharon Kaplan's "Lifelong Issues in Adoption" available on the internet.

Children, especially newborns, need the security of their mothers. Fathers need to be encouraged to nurture their children and expected and even required to support them. Mothers in such desperate straights deserve the encouragement to seek real help, not the encouragement to give up hope and abandon their babies.

When all else fails, a child's heritage should never be withheld from him/her.

Bastard Nation, which bills itself as "the adoptee rights organization" has the following statement on their website: "Safe Haven laws, despite their good intent, are ultimately anti-adoptee, anti-adoption, anti-child, anti-woman, and anti-family. They erase identities, deny the rights and due process of parents, and reject time-tested best practice."

One moment of fear over some temporary situation and a mother and father may have lost their child forever. I hope all mothers who have been duped by this ill-considered safe haven project take steps to get their baby back. I hope all fathers whose rights have been by-passed all together take steps to get their baby back. I hope someone cares enough about these children to give them back, without a fight.

Unfortunately there is an incentive not to return the children to their families: Thanks to the 1997 Adoption and Safe Families Act when a child, even a healthy baby, is adopted out of foster care, there is $4000 or $6000 bonus to be made from the federal government. This bonus was intended to help children already in foster care who truly need a home, not to encourage the unnecessary separation of family members.

There are many factors contributing to the wide support that safe haven laws have received. But the problems inherent with the safe haven laws cannot be overstated. Mothers, fathers and their children as well as grandparents and other family members including future generations who may be affected, are human beings. Parents deserve real information and real options rather than to be lured, completely unaware of the serious consequences, into abandoning their own child.

Laurie Frisch

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 4:41 PM EST
Updated: Sunday, 20 March 2005 4:46 PM EST
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Friday, 18 March 2005
Adoption Agency "Gives Up" License - Wahoo!
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Conch & Circumstance

I love how they say the agency "gives up" it's license!!!!! How much CHOICE do they have? About as much choice as a pressured mom does when she gives up hope of finding real help and "gives up" her baby!

It's almost COMICAL that this adoption agency is being shut down while all the others are NOT. Don't adoption agencies and attorneys "smuggle" pregnant women across STATE borders in the United States all the time to escape the laws, to muddy the legal waters or to avoid dads who want to take responsibility for their children? They DO. They offer moms expense money that is far in excess of what is needed to live - paying off credit cards, other debts, money for "dining out", offering SCHOLARSHIPS - my GOD this has to be WRONG and UNETHICAL even if there is some legal loophole. No woman should be lured into legally abandoning her son or daughter so the agencies may "sell" healthy babies to their customers. This is demented, for sure. The wealthy buying the babies of the poor. And in a so-called "Christian" society, too.

I'm sure this agency will just re-open under another name - next week, probably. Sick, sick, sick.

It's illegal to solicit for a living person's kidney - it should be illegal to solicit for their infant son or daughter as well. And there should DEFINITELY be no money to be made from child re-distribution.

A San Antonio adoption agency has agreed to give up its license, and state officials say as part of a settlement that organization, the Alamo Adoption Agency, must shut-down because of its connection to a baby buying ring.

One of their employees, Maria Bondoc, is serving an eight-year prison sentence after she was convicted of selling babies.

?In some cases, she coerced the birth mothers to give up their babies for adoption, in other cases paying cash,? Geoffery Wool with the Texas Department of Protective Reg. Services said.


?What we found was Alamo Adoption Agency was recruiting birth mothers in Mexico transporting some illegally across the border, not providing proper information for those birth mothers,? Wool said.


Young women from Mexico claimed Bondoc was smuggling them into the United States to give birth, and then paying cash for the babies.

Adoption vs. Parenting,Pregnant,Pregnancy Issues, unwed single teen teenager pregnant

Newborn Nursery Doll Adoption - whats wrong with that?

Prejudice Against Unwed Single Mothers Pregnant Women

Persuasive Speech and Debate Topics, Policy, Adoptee Open Records

Pregnant? Open adoption "birthmothers" "birthmoms"

Adoption adopt babies baby infant adoption awareness training

Adoption Searching or Support Groups in Iowa

Infant Adoption Awareness Training

Teenage, single unwed mother myths and facts

Unplanned pregnancy parenting vs. adoption options

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 9:14 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 18 March 2005 9:17 AM EST
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Thursday, 17 March 2005
New Jersey DYFS Takes Father's Child At Birth In Hospital
Now Playing: Soaring Angels and Battle Cries

DYFS Takes Child At Birth in Hospital

At the end are these suggestions from Barnes, the father:

His experiences with DYFS have given him strength, Barnes says, as well as many ideas for reform.

His first suggestion, had it been implemented in time, may very well have prevented his case from spanning the years that it did. Barnes believes that every parent whose child enters the system should be given a copy of the DYFS policy manual. It was only by accident that he learned what his rights were as an individual fighting the bureaucracy; it angers him that other parents will be subject to the same ignorant fate.

Another point Barnes has raised is the lack of accountability on DYFS' part. He believes that all conversations between case workers and family members should be tape recorded to prevent workers from making promises they have no intentions of keeping.

Barnes also questions the ability of a court-appointed attorney to provide adequate representation for a parent coping with DYFS allegations. He says that in our current social climate, with adoption incentives encouraging the state to terminate parents' rights, it would be difficult at best for a state lawyer to whole-heartedly do battle on behalf of his clients.

Also disappointed with the state's apparent decision to penalize both Doe and himself for a treatable illness, Barnes says, "They allow convicted child molesters to move into neighborhoods inhabited by children, saying that they have served their time and can safely be released. Yet a mother who has never harmed anyone, who has also been evaluated as well enough to be released into society, is condemned."

At every meeting, Barnes assures me, "I am not going to walk away. DYFS picked on the wrong father this time."

Unplanned Pregnancy, Crisis Pregnancy, Adoptee Insights, Adoption and Parenting information

Birthmother's Day Celebration, Entrustment Ceremonies

Iowa Support Group Adoptees and Natural "Birth" Mothers Adoptin Adoption Search

Adoption Baby Boom More American Babies for Adoption

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 1:19 PM EST
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Wednesday, 16 March 2005
Contesting Coerced DCFS Safety Plans
Now Playing: Hope for the Kids and Families

It's appalling how these social workers of the sickest things is taking fearful parents and forcing them to sign up to a "safety plan" that they know parents won't be able to complete...because it will mean too much time of work or something.

Looks like they're doing something about it in Illinois!

Judge: DCFS Threats To Families Violated Rights
State Accused Of 'Destroying Families, Hurting Children'

POSTED: 7:15 am CST March 15, 2005
UPDATED: 7:23 am CST March 15, 2005

CHICAGO -- A federal judge has ruled that the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services violated families' constitutional rights when the agency threatened to separate parents from their children during abuse investigations.


"When an investigator expressly or implicitly conveys that failure to accept a plan will result in the removal of the children for more than a brief or temporary period of time, it constitutes a threat sufficient to deem the family's agreement coerced, and to implicate due process rights," Pallmeyer wrote in her 59-page opinion.

"The judge gave DCFS 60 days to develop a plan for families to contest the safety plans."

adoption and safe families act law tears family apart, promoting adoption bonuses, arguments against, opposed to

Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnant? Dear Birthmother or Real Help?

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Adoptee and Birthmom, Birthmother, Birthparent Adoption Support Search Searching Groups in Iowa

Birthmother's day, celebrating birthmothers, birthmoms, birth fathers, dear

Adoption vs. Parenting - Assists, Assistance Help, Helpful Ideas for Parenting, Fathers, Grandparents

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adoption baby boom, more adoptions, open adoption, promises, agencies, lawyers arguments against, opposed to, shame, pride, oppression women poor families

Posted by warriorwoman9 at 9:21 AM EST
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